


you flood my brain (and foolish electric heart)

by ppperaltiagooo



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Babies, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, Light Angst, Marriage, Married Couple, Married Life, Mild Smut, Peraltiago, Pregnancy, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2020-12-24 04:30:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21093428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ppperaltiagooo/pseuds/ppperaltiagooo
Summary: five times amy helps jake (and one time jake helps amy).





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1:0; amy comforts jake when his nana becomes sick (set pre-series one)

_"like novocaine,_

_you flood my brain,_

_and foolish electric heart."_

**Chapter 1:0**

Amy Santiago has a strange habit of always being able to make Jake feel better. And that's why, when his mother calls him in the middle of the night and tells him to make his way to the hospital right now, that Nana is sick and that she isn't going to get better this time, he texts Amy.

**To: Amy Santiago (02:34 am)**

**hey**

He doesn't know what else to say to her, and the cold New York air is seeping through the window of the cab, numbing his fingers and making it incredibly hard to type, so he settles for a simple greeting. A simple _'hey'_ that might not ever be replied to, because Amy might be sleeping so she might not see it and even if she does see it, it doesn't much convey the complexity of the situation so she might not respond anyways. Jake stares at his phone for a long minute, his heart leaping uncomfortably in his chest when a message from Amy slides onto his screen only a few moments after he has sent his.

_From: Amy Santiago (02:36 am)_

_???_

_From: Amy Santiago (02:36 am)_

_Jake? Seriously? It's 2:30 in the morning._

**To: Amy Santiago (02:36 am)**

**sorry**

_From: Amy Santiago (02:37 am)_

_I'm trying to sleep, Jake. You should be, too. We have work in the morning._

**To: Amy Santiago (02:37 am)**

**...**

_From: Amy Santiago (02:38 am)_

_Is everything ok?_

**To: Amy Santiago (02:39 am)**

**no**

_From: Amy Santiago (02:40 am)_

_What's wrong? Are you lost? Do you need me to come pick you up again?_

Jake smiles a little at the memory that he'd almost forgotten, but not quite. It's hidden deep down there somewhere, inside of a locked box in the back of his brain where he keeps all the nice thoughts he has about Amy Santiago, like how he thinks that her eyes can be sort of pretty sometimes and her hair looks soft, like it might feel comforting to run his hands through. He remembers that night, the night when he'd gotten wasted and then gotten _really_ lost and had, for some reason unbeknown to him, decided that Amy would be the best person to call, and she'd tracked him down and driven him home. She walked him to his apartment door and made sure he got inside safely, and since that night he's known something about Amy that she doesn't like people to see. She can be really, really sweet sometimes. _When she wants to be_.

**To: Amy Santiago (02:42 am)**

**nana's sick**

_From: Amy Santiago (02:43 am)_

_Oh._

**To: Amy Santiago (02:44 am)**

**my mom called me like a half hour ago. she wants me to go to the hospital so i guess it’s probably pretty serious or something**

_From: Amy Santiago (02:45 am)_

_I’m really sorry, Jake._

**To: Amy Santiago (02:45 am)**

**don’t be sorry. she’s been sick for a while. it’s just hard i guess. i don’t want to lose her, you know?**

Jake feels weirdly numb. It’s not like he even knows what’s wrong with his grandmother yet. She might be okay, she might live. He doesn’t know yet. But something just feels wrong. There’s a lump in his throat and he has butterflies in his stomach, and he’s pretty sure what he’s feeling right now is called _fear_.

_From: Amy Santiago (02:47 am)_

_I understand. It’s really hard. I don’t know what to say, Jake. Is there anything I can do to make you feel any better?_

He feels his shoulders relax a little as he reads her message, and there she goes making him feel better again. He’s not sure she has this effect on him (she’s just his colleague, his partner at work... maybe he can admit that she’s sort of his friend, too) but she can always cheer him up, even if it’s just a little bit.

**To: Amy Santiago (02:49 am)**

**texting you helps me keep my mind off things but i understand if you have to sleep**

_From: Amy Santiago (02:50 am)_

_No, it’s okay. I’m awake now anyways. What do you want to talk about?_

Jake texts Amy for the rest of his cab journey. They talk about work a little, about the cases they’re working on together right now, but mostly they talk about Nana. Jake tells Amy about how big a part of his life his grandmother has been, about how she used to make the best chicken soup when he was sick and about how she used to take care of him and Gina after school when their parents were working (this reminds him to text Gina, which he does while he is waiting on a reply from Amy, and she agrees to meet him at the hospital without saying much else).

_From: Amy Santiago (03:01 am)_

_She sounds like an amazing lady, Jake._

**To: Amy Santiago (03:01 am)**

**she is. she’s super cool**

When Jake gets to the hospital, Gina is waiting just inside the entrance for him. His hands shake as she pulls him into a hug, and her embrace is nice but weirdly he can't shake the feeling that all he wants to do is text Santiago, that his work colleague is the only one who can make him feel even remotely better right now. Gina is his friend (his best friend, even) and she's absolutely amazing and Jake loves her so much, but she's not _enough_ right now.

_From: Amy Santiago (03:17 am) _

_Jake? Is everything okay?_

_From: Amy Santiago (03:19 am)_

_You okay? You've stopped responding._

**To: Amy Santiago (03:21 am)**

**hey. yeah. i'm at the hospital. you can sleep now if you want**

_From: Amy Santiago (03:22 am)_

_Okay. Call me if you need me, okay?_

Jake thinks it's sweet that she cares about him so much, that she cares even at all. In the three years that they have been partners, he's spent the majority of their time spent together making fun of her in one way or another. Either that or they're competing against each other, trying desperately to beat the other at something, anything. That's the nature of their partnership, their friendship, and Jake knows that will never change (deep down, he doesn't want it to) but now there's something else mixed in there. They care for each other, like each other even, and Jake is only somewhat uncomfortable with this newfound feeling settling deep within his chest. Amy Santiago is his friend, and he can say with complete, undisputed sincerity that he most definitely will call her if he needs her.

**To: Amy Santiago (03:24 am)**

**i will. thanks for helping me out santiago, means a lot**

-

Jake's Nana dies thirty-four-hours after suffering a bad bout of pneumonia that shuts her weak, eighty-nine-year-old body down completely.

He's at work when he gets the call, and he doesn't tell anyone about it before he leaves, not even Gina. His body is tense, the lump in his throat growing firmer and firmer as he makes his way to the hospital. His skin is crawling and he can't breathe straight and there's this loud ringing in his ears when he gets to the front desk and tells the receptionist his Nana's name, and she gives him this look of sympathy as she reaches out and pats his shoulder then leads him down the bright white hall towards his grandmother's room.

He doesn't check his phone till a few hours later, till he's seen his Nana and said to goodbye to her and hugged his mom as tight as he can muster. He has some texts, a few from Terry, forty-five from Boyle, but he clicks straight on the notification from Amy, his eyes scanning over the text quickly as he sits in the corner of the hospital room, surrounded by his family plus Gina and her mom.

_From: Amy Santiago (13:43 pm)_

_Jake? Where are you?_

_From: Amy Santiago (13:54 pm)_

_When did you leave? Is everything okay?_

_From: Amy Santiago (14:24 pm)_

_Jake? Are you okay?_

_From: Amy Santiago (14:31 pm)_

_I'm worried about you._

Jake looks around the room, and everyone is chatting, reminiscing over stories about Nana and her cooking. He's sure they won't miss him for a few minutes, so he stands up abruptly, mumbles something about _'getting some air'_ then stumbles out of the room. The lights out in the hospital are much too bright for him and the smell of cleaning chemicals is so strong that he is sure some of his nose hair must've burned off the moment he stepped out of Nana's room, so he keeps walking, walking, walking till he's outside and the wind is ruffling his hair ever so slightly, a cool breeze blowing against his cheeks.

**To: Amy Santiago (18:48 pm)**

**hey, sorry for leaving earlier. nana died so i'm at the hospital again**

_From: Amy Santiago (18:52 pm)_

_Jake, I'm so sorry. How are you doing?_

**To: Amy Santiago (18:54 pm)**

**i'm okay, you know? like i'm sad and i miss her but she was sick so kind of knew it was coming**

_From: Amy Santiago (18:55 pm)_

_Sometimes that doesn't make it any easier. Seriously, Jake, is there anything I can do to help?_

**To: Amy Santiago (18:56 pm)**

**thanks but there isn't really. just please don't tell boyle, i'm heading home soon and i don't want him to show up at my apartment. i want to be alone tonight**

_From: Amy Santiago (18:58 pm)_

_Understood. I won't say anything._

**To: Amy Santiago (19:00 pm)**

**thanks santiago**

-

It's been a bad day, but when Jake gets home there's a box of takeout and a copy of the first _'Die Hard'_ movie (which he already owns but he's not complaining) and a note signed by Amy by the front door of his apartment, and suddenly his day feels a little bit easier.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2:0; amy comforts jake after sofia breaks up with him (set during season two)

**Chapter 2:0**

Maybe things should be awkward between Amy and Jake now that she and Teddy have broken up and Jake knows that, at one point, they had feelings for each other at the same time. Maybe he should be wondering what would’ve happen between them if they’d both known. But he isn’t. He isn’t thinking about the strangeness of the situation, about their weird friendship or about what might’ve gone down between them if he’d never gone undercover. Instead, when Sofia breaks up with him, he is thinking about how much he wishes Amy could be here to comfort him right now.

He knows he can’t text her though, no matter how much he wants to. She probably feels uncomfortable with being around him right now and anyways, it wouldn’t look great if Sofia suddenly changed her mind and wanted to be with him. She was already upset at the amount of time he and Amy spent together, he shouldn’t make it worse. Just in case.

Thing is, Jake’s never really taken relationships that seriously before. Having a girlfriend is fun and, sure, if something serious _were_ to come out of a relationship he was in then that would be fine, too. But he’s never really loved anyone before, or at least not in the way he loves Sofia.

It’s awkward then, when she tells him she doesn’t love him back and breaks up with him.

Jake spends all weekend wallowing in his own self-pity, eating ice cream like some teenage girl, watching all the _'Die Hard'_ movies on repeat and wondering why he wasn’t good enough for her. He tried to do romantic things, tried to put her first and treat her right, but in the end it wasn’t enough. Just like Jake is never enough.

He waits all weekend for Sofia to text him, but she never does. To be honest, he didn’t really expect her to text him in the first place, but it would’ve been nice for her to ask how he was, to ensure he was okay. Which he isn’t. He isn’t okay. He feels stupid for being this sad about a girl who wasn’t even the longest-term girlfriend he’s had in his life, but he misses her, and he’s not sure anything can make it better.

It’s not like he thought he’d marry her or something, but then Jake Peralta doesn’t think he’ll marry anyone, has never wanted to. Marriage is pointless; it’s how you end up like his parents, and he doesn’t want that for himself or the person he wants to spend his life with. He wouldn’t wish that kind of life upon his worst enemy.

At this rate, he’s probably going to die alone anyways, so it’s not like he’s ever going to have to seriously think about marriage or getting married to someone. He’s going to die a hot, lonely bachelor, and maybe he’s okay with that. Or sort of, at least.

-

The Homeland Security terrorist training simulation makes Jake feel a little better, or least makes him stop missing Sophia for a few hours, but afterwards he goes straight back to checking his phone every thirty seconds, waiting on a call or a text or something begging for him to take her back. But it’s been weeks since she broke up with him now and she hasn’t contacted him at all, not even once, not even to check up on him, so on the cab ride home he turns his phone off and tucks it into his pocket, hoping to ignore it and her for a few hours.

When he gets home, Jake uses his laptop to open up Facebook. He searches Sofia’s name, scrolls through her page, sees recent photos of her. They were posted today, a few hours ago, and she is smiling. She looks happy. Happy without him. Happier than she was when she was with him.

His heart hurts for a few minutes, and he has to grab a beer out of his fridge and pop it open. The fridge is his Nana’s, the same one that was here before she died. He’s too broke and lazy to change it, and it reminds him of her, of everything she did for him.

He takes one last glance at the photo of Sofia’s smiling face, then shuts his computer down, turns his phone on, waits a few seconds just in case she texts him. Nothing. He is satisfied now, that she is happy, that she isn’t going to change her mind, that she doesn’t want to get back together with him.

_So he texts Amy._

**To: Amy Santiago (20:35 pm)**

**what you doing right now?**

It’s not like she’s a second choice to him. Far from it, really. Santiago isn’t just his partner anymore and she isn’t just his friend. She’s his best friend. And he’ll be damned if he lets some weird, romantic feelings between them get in the way of that. She always makes him feel better, and he can tell she’s lonely too, without Teddy (even if he is the most boring man in the whole of New York. No, the whole of the United States. No, scratch that. Teddy is the most boring man in the entire world, and Jake doesn’t think he’s anywhere near good enough for Amy. But who could ever be good enough for Amy Santiago?).

_From: Amy Santiago (20:40 pm)_

_Hey, Jake. Nothing. I just got home and I’m going to order some takeout. Chinese, probably._

**To: Amy Santiago (20:42 pm)**

**you could come here? and get takeout? with me?**

**To: Amy Santiago (20:42 pm)**

**if you want to?**

_From: Amy Santiago (20:44 pm)_

_Jake, I don’t know. Don’t you think that might be a little awkward?_

**To: Amy Santiago (20:45 pm)**

**please amy. you’re my friend, i don’t want that to change**

_From: Amy Santiago (20:46 pm)_

_... Okay. I’ll pick up the takeout on my way over. See you in around half an hour._

**To: Amy Santiago (20:47 pm)**

**see you soon**

Jake whizzes around the house, tidying it as quickly as he can, making sure there’s no dirty underwear or cans of beer laying around on the apartment floor. He’s not sure why he cares, not sure why he’s trying to impress Amy. She’s not his girlfriend (far from it. It’s not like he has any feelings for her whatsoever anymore. None at all), so why does he care? He shouldn’t care. But he does. And Amy doesn’t like mess. So he tidies the apartment and changes into a clean shirt before she rings the doorbell.

“Santiago!” He says as he opens the door. He holds it open for her, bowing jokingly. “Welcome to my humble abode.”

“It’s so... _clean_.” Amy says, sounding startled and pulling a confused face as she enters the apartment. Her hair is loose around her shoulders, her face free of makeup, and she is wearing a sweater. Jake guesses she must have already settled down for the night when he texted her.

“Would you expect any less from me?” Jake says, his voice laced with mock offence as he presses a hand to his chest.

Amy rolls her sparkly brown eyes at him and places the plastic bag full of takeout down on his kitchen countertop. “I got your usual.”

Jake’s heart flutters in an almost explainable way at the idea that Amy Santiago knows what his favourite food to get from a Chinese restaurant is, but then he feels like an idiot. He’s known her for over five years and they’ve been partners for the majority of those, of course she knows his likes and dislikes. And, again, why does he even care?

“Thanks. It smells great.” He says simply, flashing her a sharp smile as he walks towards the kitchen to plate up their dinner. He knows Amy is a dedicated feminist, so he wants to plate up dinner instead of making her feel like he is forcing her to do it. He wants her to know that he is all for woman’s rights too, just like she is.

Jake groans internally. Why does he care so goddamn much about what Amy Santiago thinks of him?

They watch a documentary, which is not Jake’s thing at all, but Amy wanted to watch it so he agreed. He spends most of his time throughout the movie watching her, studying the way her mouth twitches when she concentrates and smiling involuntarily at the way her eyes light up and widen when she finds out something new or interesting. He doesn’t even notice he’s doing it till the credits roll and she turns to look at him, and he has to look away abruptly and pretend he wasn’t just staring at her.

“That was so great, right!?” She exclaims, obviously oblivious to his stares.

He clears his throat awkwardly, picking at a thread on his jeans. “Yeah, it was... you know, _interesting_.”

“You didn’t like it.” She says, and he looks up in time to see her face fall.

“No! It was great!” He says quickly, then smirks and wiggles his eyebrows at her. “Since when do you care what I think about stuff anyways, Santiago?”

Amy rolls her eyes and leans over to punch him softly on the arm. “I don’t. Or I don’t usually, but it was two-hours long and I wouldn’t want you to be bored for that long.”

“That’s sweet,” he teases, his eyes sparkling and his face wearing that shit-eating grin that it always does when he’s embarrassing her. “Santiago cares about me.”

“Shut up.” She says, rolling her eyes again. “But really, though... how are you doing?”

Jake sighs, and now he’s thinking about Sofia again. “I’m okay.”

“You can tell me the truth.”

“No, really. I’m okay.” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. It’s hard for Jake to admit his feelings. Usually, he keeps them buried deep within, just under the surface of a witty joke or a stupid prank. But he knows he has to honest here or he’s never going to get over this. “I just... miss her, you know? I really liked her.”

He pauses, his eyes opening slowly, and he thinks he sees a flash of pain on Amy’s face before she quickly rights herself. “I understand,” she says, wringing her hands together nervously.

“Wait,” Jake says quietly. “This isn’t awkward for you, right? We don’t have to talk about it if it is.” He hopes that it isn’t awkward, that Amy won’t mind him talking about it, because now that he’s gotten started he really wants to just let it all out.

But then another part of him, somewhere deep inside, wants her to find it awkward. He wants her to want him, wants her to hate him talking about another woman, and he’s not sure why. Maybe he does still have feelings for her, just a little.

Amy sighs, running a hand through her wavy hair (which Jake notices has a kink through the middle from where it’s been tied back in a harsh bun all day) and shakes her head, averting her gaze to look at something across the room. “No, it’s not awkward. Why would it be awkward?” She says brightly, but it sounds forced. “It will never get better if you don’t talk about it.”

“Okay,” Jake starts with a deep breath. “You know, like... with Teddy? Like, how you knew, deep down, it was never really gonna work out, but you tried to make it work anyway? And then, like, when you finally let go it really hurt, even though you knew it was never gonna work out anyway? And you missed him, I guess?”

Amy nods. “Yeah, exactly.”

“Well, that’s how it is for me right now.”

"I get it, Jake. I really do." Amy sighs. "But if you couldn't see yourself being with her for the rest of your life, if you couldn't see it working out, if you couldn't see yourself marrying her or starting a family with her then what's the point? I get that it's difficult and that for a while you're going to miss her, but I promise you'll know when the right person comes along."

Jake fails to inform her that he's never seen himself marrying anyone, or ever starting a family at all. "How do you know?" He asks quietly, and she tilts her head in confusion. "How do you know that I'll know when - if - the right person comes along? What if I don't know, Amy?"

"You'll know. Trust me." She replies, and there's this twinkle of _something_ in her eyes, something new, something that he's never seen before, not since he told her he liked her (like, romantic stylez) and he can feel himself falling, falling, falling within the warm, dark pools of her eyes, and he doesn't ever want to stop.

His feelings for her are more than clearly returning, but he's not sure he's quite ready to admit it to himself yet.

So he changes the subject. He changes it to work and family and anything else he can think of, and they talk for hours, but something about Amy's face tells him she has his tactics figured out, that she knows he's changing the subject but that she can't quite figure out why. And then, when her cheeks have gone red from exhaustion and her body is slumped in the chair uncomfortably, he calls her a cab to take her back home.

They hug at the door, and Jake presses a long kiss to her forehead. He's not sure why he does it, and he thinks maybe it will be awkward, but then she looks up at him all innocently with a tiny smile on her face and he's falling again and his heart is leaping out of his chest.

"Thanks for being my distraction, Santiago," he says quietly, and his voice is hoarse from tiredness, and he's pretty certain he feels her body shiver against his.

She leaves after that, and he doesn't heart from her till about an hour later, when he is laying flat on his bed with nothing on but a pair of underwear (New York is surprisingly warm this time of year).

_From: Amy Santiago (01:57 am)_

_That was fun. Thanks for having me round!_

**To: Amy Santiago (1:58 am)**

**anytime amy. see you tomorrow**

And then he falls asleep, flat on his back, his phone laying on his chest, and her text is next to his heart and thoughts of her fill his dreams.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3:0; amy helps jake out with a little, ahem, problem at work (set during season four)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pleaseee be gentle, guys! this my first time writing smut and i’m preeeetty sure it sucks and isn’t sexy at all so i’m sorry but i’ll work on it lmao.
> 
> thank you guys for reading <3

**Chapter 3:0**  


Jake hasn't popped a boner in public since he was, like, fourteen. He thought, until now, that he was passed that awful, awkward stage in his life. So why, at the ripe-old, sexually-experienced-and-satisfied age of thirty-six, is he sat at his desk hiding a hard-on, unable to stand up in case someone spots it.

  
He huffs quietly to himself. It's not his fault his girlfriend is seriously, ridiculously, unfairly hot.

  
It’s not his fault that the sight of her confidently walking across the bullpen, barking orders at a perp and clutching the back of said perps shirt roughly has her looking the sexiest she’s ever looked to him, and it’s not his fault that he’s really, _super_ into the loud, commanding tone of voice she is using.

  
He's trying not to look at her, trying to ignore the fact that she's wearing those suit-pants that make him want to stare at her ass all day and that dark-red lipstick that he wants to wipe off with his mouth on hers. He's trying his hardest not to look over (_please, God, Jake, just keep looking at your paperwork_) but then he sneaks a glance up at her and they make eye contact and a look of confusion then realisation crosses her face and she smirks at him.

  
He swallows thickly as she walks over to him, feels her hands on his shoulder, tries not to look uncomfortable because he knows at least one of their friends is looking at him right now. She bends over so that her soft lips are almost touching his ear, her breath fanning over his shoulder pleasantly and making him shudder lightly.

  
"I see you have a little problem there," she whispers playfully into his ear and he glances back to see her looking pointedly at his tented pants.

  
"Uh," he starts, but then she's walking away, and he's groaning and trying to get back to work, but his cock is straining almost painfully against his trousers and he just can't focus, not one bit.  


Jake is pretty sure he's never met anyone hotter than Amy, male or female. He's confused and surprised everyday that she's interested in being with him, that she actually likes him and that she finds him even somewhat attractive. She's amazing, beautiful, intelligent and so, so great in bed. Like, mind-blowingly, weirdly and surprisingly great. And usually that's amazing, but it seems Jake has now been trained to pop a boner when she does something even somewhat sexy, so maybe it's not as great as he first thought it was.

  
His phone vibrates in his pocket, unnervingly close to his stiff cock, making him hiss before he pulls it out slowly, carefully.  


_From: Amy Santiago (13:12 pm)_

_Come to the supply closet, babe._

  
Jake shudders, his eyes widening.  


He's so lucky he gets to love this girl.  


He waits a couple long, slow minutes before he gets up to make his way to the supply closet. He walks quickly, crouched in a weird position in the hopes that no one will notice his hard-on, his mind racing at the thought of what might happen. Amy has always refused to do anything even remotely sexual at the precinct, but Jake has always been super into the idea of fucking her at work, when they could get caught at any moment. Amy is such a rule follower though that Jake gave up months ago trying to convince her and decided to respect her boundaries instead, but the idea of him having zero time to prepare himself for this at all makes it all the more exciting for him.

He isn’t expecting to feel nervous when he reaches the supply closet (in the six months they’ve been together, he and Amy have had a hell of a lot of sex, so it’s not like they haven’t done whatever’s waiting for him on the other side of the door a million times before), but he finds himself glancing around anxiously, ensuring no one sees him enter the tiny room.  


When he is inside and the door is closed, the closet is in complete darkness, the lights turned off and the tiny room cold and quiet. He fumbles around on the wall, confused and worried he’s come to the wrong place, but when he finds the switch Amy is leaning against the shelves in front of him, her tight shirt unbuttoned to reveal a lacy, pale pink bra and her face wearing a soft smile that makes Jake’s heart throb in his chest.  


“Ames,” he whispers, not sure what to say as he stares at the supple roundness of her cleavage; the flat, tanned expanse of her stomach.  


“Hey, babe,” she says quietly. She waggles a finger at him. “Come here. _Quickly_.”  


“Uh,” he manages, just like ten minutes ago when she approached him the bullpen, staying rooted in his place.  


“Jake, if we’re going to do this we have to do it quickly,” she says, sounding a little worried and desperate and a little more like the Amy he knows.  


Jake noda, still unable to form words, and stumbles towards her. Her mouth meets his as she pulls him into her, and he can feel his erection pressing into her stomach, gaining a tiny bit of the friction he so desperately needs.  


“I can’t believe this is happening,” Jake groans quietly as Amy reaches down and cups his bulge gently, pressing one solitary kiss to his cheek. “I can’t believe you’re actually doing this.”  


Amy smirks at him, and he can see in her eyes that she is nervous, that she is worried about getting caught, and so is he, but then she is unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants and then they are at his ankles along with his underwear, and she is spinning him round and pushing him up against the shelves, and now she is on her knees.  


When her lips touch his throbbing cock, he groans into the air, the sensation rocketing through his body like an explosion.  


Amy pulls back from him abruptly, and he looks down at her in confusion. “_Shh_. You need to be really quiet.”  


“Got it,” he breathes, and then there she is again, kissing his length and then laving her tongue over it.  


Usually, Amy likes to tease him, and he doesn’t mind it. They’re both pretty into being in charge during sex, so they tend to take turns, and they both love to take their time with the other, teasing until neither of them can take it anymore. But sometimes it’s just about getting there, and that’s how it is today (especially since their colleagues are working diligently just a few halls away, and getting caught could result in serious consequences for them both), so almost as soon as she goes back to it, she is sucking him into her mouth and his hands are weaving through her soft hair and his head is tipping back and he is biting his lip to keep himself quiet.  


Jake has had sex with a lot of women (okay, maybe not a _lot_, but some, okay?), but no one has ever and will ever compare to Amy Santiago. She knows exactly what to do to make him feel good, better than he’s ever felt before, though Jake suspects her ability to make him orgasm quicker than he’s ever orgasmed before has a lot to do with the way he feels about her. The way that her laugh can make him melt, the way she can always make everything better, and the way that he loves her more than he thought he could ever love anyone.  


Right now, she’s making him unravel quicker than he’s ever unraveled before. It probably has a lot to do with the fact that this has been a fantasy of his for a while, but also the fact Amy is swirling her tongue round the tip of his cock just the way he likes, and then she is taking all of him, or as much of him as she can, and he is slipping down her throat and her hands are pushing against his thighs softly.  


“Fuck,” he hisses, sneaking a glance down at her. She always looks so good like this, with his cock in her mouth and her hair all messed up by his hands and her eyes gazing up at him somewhat innocently (ironic, right?). He bucks his hips up to meet her mouth, and she wraps her hand round his length, jerking him off roughly as she sucks him. “Ah, Ames, shit. Fuck.”  


Her tongue is flat and soft and wet against his length and she is hollowing her cheeks out to suck him off roughly as she jerks him with her hand. It feels so good, so amazing, and he’s so close, and then her free hand is reaching up to fondle his balls and that’s the last straw.

“Ugh, Ames,” he growls, the sound coming from somewhere deep in the back of his throat, and he thrusts himself deeper in her mouth, down into her throat.

The warm, tingly feeling swelling inside of his stomach explodes, like an elastic band snapping or a wave crashing against his insides repeatedly, over and over again. His mouth falls open and he lets out an unholy noise as he releases his load into her mouth, and his body is clenching, making it hard for him to stay both still and relatively quiet.

His orgasm crashes over him, lasting longer than he ever thought was possible, and then he releases her hair from his grip. She lets him pop out of her mouth and he feels her press a kiss to his sensitive shaft, and then she is pulling his trousers up his legs and buckling his belt.

“Oh my God,” he mutters, descending into quiet chuckles. His body and mind are on a high, and he can’t believe he just came in Amy Santiago’s mouth at work.

She giggles too, then presses a finger over her lips. “Shhh. We need to be quiet still.”

He nods, pursing his lips to keep from laughing anymore. “That was amazing, Ames,” he tells her quietly. “I wish I could pay you back for that right now.”  


“Me too,” Amy says with a smile as she finishes buttoning up her shirt and presses a kiss to Jake’s lips. “But right now we have to go back to work and pretend this never happened. Got it?”

“Understood, Santiago.”

Amy smooths her hair out and glances over her shoulder at Jake to throw him a cheeky smile. She opens the closet door and walks away from him, throwing her hips around in a very obviously seductive way, and he watches her ass shake with every step she takes away from him.

Jake glances down.

_God, damn it._ It happened again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4:0; amy is a comfort to jake when he is in jail and when he gets home (set between season four and five and the beginning of season 5)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy halloween! are you guys dressing up?? :’)
> 
> i’m not. i’m just having a quiet night in with my bf and we’ll probably just watch all the b99 halloween specials and then maybe a few scary movies!
> 
> i also wanted to check with you guys if you prefer a single white line between paragraphs? i much prefer laying it out with a double white line but it’s not me who’s reading it so please please let me know if the double white line bothers you! <3
> 
> i hope you enjoy the chapter and your halloween! :’)

**Chapter 4:0**

Jake thinks about Amy a lot while he’s in jail.

Of course, he also thinks a lot about how he has been wrongfully imprisoned for a crime he did not commit, about how his life led him here, about if Rosa is surviving prison and about how he can get them both out, but those thoughts make up a tiny fraction of his brain waves during his holiday in hell.

Mostly, he thinks about what Amy is doing right now. Whether she is okay, whether she is surviving despite his absence (though he knows she will be, because she’s Amy Santiago, she’s the most badass woman he knows) and whether she is still searching for a way to get him out. It’s been a long time, a good few months, though Jake’s stopped keeping track for reasons that concern his own sanity, and all he can think about is getting home to her.

He thinks about the way she smells, the way she feels, the way she looks. He thinks about how much he wishes he could be with her, how much he wishes none of this ever happened. He thinks about how beautiful she is (and he’s not proud of it, but sometimes, when Caleb is sound asleep at night and he’s almost entirely certain he won’t be caught, he touches himself at the thought of her beauty) and about how he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and about how his views of marriage have gone right out the fucking window since they started seeing each other.

She is everything. His sun, his moon and all of his billions of stars.

And so he hatches a plan. A plan to propose to Amy Santiago. And it’s not just any old plan, because she doesn’t deserve just any old proposal, it has to be amazing. It has to mind-blowing and romantic and clever and well thought out. It has to involve everyone, all of their friends, and it has to special.

It keeps his mind occupied, thinking about how he might propose to her. He thinks about doing it on the roof where they had their first date, where they threw peanuts into each other’s mouths and laughed the night away, but it doesn’t seem Amy enough. Then he thinks about doing it at the precinct, and that sits just right with him, and then the idea hits him.

The Halloween Heist.

And it’s going to take a lot of planning, a lot of thought and a lot of brains that Jake isn’t sure he really has, but he’s going to do it. For Amy.

-

When Jake sees Amy again, it’s like the whole world stops spinning. It’s like everything melts away and the only thing that is even remotely important in this world is holding her in his arms, kissing her lips and feeling her breath on his face as she whispers that she loves him.

It’s an indescribable feeling; the feeling he gets the first time he looks into her eyes again. When she falls into his arms and he can finally breathe in her scent again.

He promised himself he wouldn’t cry, but he does anyway.

“I missed you so much, Ames,” he whispers into her hair, and she nods against his chest through her tears, and it’s everything.

It hasn’t been easy, but the thought of this moment, the thought of being with her again, the thought of holding her close like this - it kept Jake sane in his craziest moments, and alive in his darkest. She is everything and more, the only thing that matters in this moment and every other moment.

  
-

Later, when she is on top of him and they are both panting and grinding into one another, he remembers again how beautiful she is.

Hovering over him in the dim bedroom, moonlight streaming through the window and lighting her up just enough for him to see her, she looks like an angel, and he just can’t believe it all over again. He can’t believe he gets to love her, can’t believe he gets to spend even a fraction of his life with her.

Watching her face contort in pleasure as she rides him, he reaches up and strokes her hair out of her face with one hand, using the other to steady her hips and stop her movements, just for a moment.

“Why did you stop?” She asks, looking only a tiny bit frustrated but a lot more concerned. Her dark eyes shine mysteriously in the moonlight as she knits her eyebrows together, gazing down at him.

“You’re just so...” he begins, but he can’t find the words to tell her how perfect she is to him, how amazing. It’s not something he can explain.

Amy giggles. “Use your words, babe.”

He is racking his brain, trying to find a way to explain her beauty to her, but he can’t seem to find one. So he settles for, “Wow.”

“Aww, don’t you go all soft on me, Peralta,” she says with a laugh, and when she hears Jake laugh too her eyes darken and she draws her bottom lip between her pearly white teeth. “I love you,” she whispers, leaning down towards him to whisper it into his ear.

Jake shivers. Only Amy can make him feel this way. “I love you, too.” And he is suddenly painfully aware of the fact that he is still inside of her.

“I’m so happy your home,” she breathes, trailing kisses down his neck as her hips begin to gyrate again.

Jake swallows, only just preventing a strangled moan from escaping his lips. “Show me how happy you are,” he says softly.

Amy smiles lightly and presses her forehead to his as she begins to ride him again, and Jake can feel himself turn to mush as he looks up at her.

He is convinced that Amy Santiago is the most beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman on the planet, and he knows now that he has to spend forever with her.

As she moans and writhes above him, he goes back to his plans. After all, he only has until Halloween to perfect them.

-

Jake thought he was fine.

He thought now that he was home, now that he never has to go back there again, that he would be alright. That he’d put it behind him and forget all about it and settle back into life with Amy almost instantaneously, but apparently that’s not how things like this work.

On his first night home, Jake wakes up, sweaty and panting after a nightmare, and every night since has been the same. It’s been two weeks now, two weeks since he got home, and it’s just as bad now as it was at the beginning. The nightmares haven’t gone away yet, and Jake’s not sure they ever will.

He can’t tell Amy. He can’t worry her, not after all she’s been through. He knows she would never leave him but it’s not fair to put her through all of this. Jake’s life is a constant battle, something always goes wrong, and he just wants her to be happy.

So instead of waking her up, telling her he needs her and asking for her help, he hides it from her. He is happy and childish at work as usual, and at home he acts as though things are the way they were before. Because they are. Or at least they should be. And Jake hates himself for not feeling normal, because he should be happy. He should appreciate that he got to come home to his wife. Not everyone gets to.

-

The nightmares are getting worse.

After an entire month of being home, Jake’s night terrors have only gotten worse. Now, they are more violent than ever before, and all he can imagine is the inmates cornering him, beating him and cutting him until he can’t take it anymore and then he is begging, begging for death, begging for them not to let Amy see him like this.

This isn’t like Jake. Jake has never been this terrified of anything in his life, and it’s starting to get to him. He is tired, tired of going about his days and pretending to be okay when he isn’t and he hasn’t slept more than two hours a night since he’s been back.

Tonight, after a particularly horrific nightmare, Jake lies flat on his back awake, staring at the ceiling. The room is dark, and Amy is asleep next to him, and he is trying to steady his breathing so he doesn’t wake her.

He closes his eyes, trying to ground himself, trying to forget about the nightmare, when he feels a hand on his bicep. His eyes flash open, and he turns around to look at Amy, who is lying next to him, very much awake.

“You’re awake.” He states breathily, looking at Amy’s hand on his arm.

“So are you,” Amy whispers softly, tracing soft circles into his arm.

“Yeah,” he says, and swallows nervously. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Amy shakes her head softly and reaches up to touch his face with her other hand. “You know you can tell me anything, Jake. Right?”

“Right.” Jake confirms, and he means it. He can tell her anything, but not _this_.

“You haven’t been sleeping,” Amy whispers, and her eyes are filling with tears and Jake just feels so guilty. “Is something wrong?”

Jake shakes his head. “I’m just... maybe I’m not as over prison as I think I am.”

“You don’t have to be over it, babe. No one expects you to be. It’s going to take time, but I’m going to be there. All the way. I _promise_ you.”

Jake tries to swallow the lump in his throat, tries to blink back the tears, but it’s no use. It’s not like he hasn’t cried in front of Amy before (he’s cried _way_ too much in front of her), but he doesn’t want to hurt her, doesn’t want to burden her with more of his problems. Tears begin to fall down his cheeks and his face contorts as he sobs once, loudly.

“Babe,” Amy says as a tear falls down her cheek. “What can I do? What do you need?”

Jake falls into her, tucks himself into her side with his head resting on her chest. “I need to sleep. I just need sleep.” He knows that if he sleeps, things will be easier to deal with. If the nightmares are gone, things will be better.

Amy says nothing, but presses a kiss to the top of his head and begins to run a hand through his hair comfortingly.

He sleeps peacefully that night, and every other night he spends with her after.

-

Jake proposes to Amy during the Halloween Heist, and everything goes as plan. She says yes, and he doesn’t feel like anything could make him happier.

But when they get married on the 15th of May the following year at the precinct with all their closest friends around them, he knows this is the happiest he could ever be.

Their wedding day is the best day of his life, and he knows for sure this time that Amy Santiago can make anything in his life better.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5:0; amy comforts jake after the sixth halloween heist (set during season six)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! 
> 
> i wanted to quickly drop in and mention that, although i’ve always had the idea that jake was probably upset about his actions during the halloween heist given how thrilled he clearly was when amy said she was pregnant, i have definitely, 100% read a fanfic on here before about a similar situation. 
> 
> however, i’ve scoured the website and i can’t find the fanfic, and i read it like 6 months ago so it’s not in my read history. if anyone knows which fic i’m referring to please let me know so i can mention the author, from what i remember their fic is completely different to what happens in mine but it was really well written and i want to credit it! 
> 
> thanks guys and i hope you enjoy the chapter :’)
> 
> p.s: this is the fic - https://archiveofourown.org/works/20092711
> 
> it’s a super amazing fic and you guys should definitely read it!!

**chapter 5:0**

It was all a game. It was just for fun. He never thought it would hurt anyone, _anything_. He never thought about how this might impact Amy, how it might impact them and their life when he gave her that stupid gift at Christmas last year. All he was thinking about was the heist, the thrill of the game, the excitement of winning, of beating everyone. And now he hates himself for it, because he hurt Amy, and he hurt the fake baby she is carrying in her stomach.

Jake knows Amy isn’t pregnant, not really. But she could have been. She could’ve been pregnant when he sent an electric shock through her body, and it’s the ‘_could’ve_’ that matters.

How can Jake live with himself? How can he live after hurting his own baby, even if he hadn’t meant to and even if the baby isn’t real? And, equally as importantly, how can he live after hurting Amy? That part was on purpose, even if he knew it would only be a sting and it would only demobilise her for a few seconds. What has he become? What have they become?

He sits on their tiny apartment balcony, the cold air biting at his bare face and hands, and imagines a life where Amy had been pregnant. A life where she had been pregnant and he really had hurt (or even worse, _killed_) their baby. He thinks about how upset Amy would be with him, how upset he would be with himself.

It’s all fun and games, until it isn’t anymore.

“Jake, the takeout is here-“ Amy begins, opening the door to the balcony, but she trails off, presumably when she sees Jake. Jake isn’t sure because he keeps his back to her, his knees up at his chin and his arms wrapped around his legs. “Babe?”

Jake doesn’t bother to reply, because he can feel that familiar lump in his throat, and he doesn’t want to upset Amy. If she hasn’t already considered what he might’ve done to their baby today had she really been pregnant, he doesn’t want to put the thought in her head.

“What’s wrong?” Amy asks softly as she sits down on the ground beside him, and Jake can hear her teeth chittering. Amy doesn’t like the cold.

One stubborn tear rolls down Jake’s cheek. He reaches up and brushes it away furiously. “I’m fine,” he says quietly.

“You’re crying.” Amy states, her hand finding Jake’s as she gazes at his face.

Jake finally turns to lock eyes with her and he feels himself melting into her. Even just looking at her can make him feel so much better. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologising for?” Amy asks, and then her face falls. “Oh, God. Did you spend five-hundred-dollars on a pair of sneakers again? What did you buy?”

Jake laughs a little bit through his tears, his eyes diverting away from Amy’s once again. “I didn’t buy anything. I’m just... sorry.” He pauses, and Amy raises her eyebrows as if to tell him to keep going, so he sighs. “I hurt our baby.”

“What?” Amy asks, knitting her eyebrows together in confusion. “Jake, I’m _not_ pregnant. I said it to distract you, remember?”

Jake nods. “I know... but you could’ve been.”

“But I’m not.”

“But you could’ve been!” Jake snaps, and then he takes a deep breath when Amy’s lips curve into a frown. “I’m sorry for yelling.”

“It’s okay,” Amy says quietly. “I just don’t understand why you’re so upset.”

“I’m upset because you _could’ve_ been pregnant, and I gave you a stupid Christmas gift with a taser on it,” Jake says.

“I gave you a Christmas gift with a taser on too. We’re just as bad as each other,” Amy says, still sounding confused.

“But I’m not pregnant, Amy. You could’ve been. I could’ve hurt our baby. I could’ve killed it.” Jake chokes out, trying to keep himself from crying more. Talking about it hurts. It _hurts_ him physically.

“It’s okay, Jake. Everything’s okay.” Amy tells him with a reassuring smile, clearly understanding him now.

“But it might not have been. How can I ever be a father, Ames? How can I trust myself after today? How can you?” Jake asks, and he’s not quite sure where this worry about never becoming a father is coming from because four months ago he didn’t want kids at all.

“Jake, listen to me,” Amy says, grasping both his hands in hers. “You made a mistake. We both did, and maybe we need to have a conversation about hiding things from each other. But trust me, I know that when you’re ready, when we decide to have kids, you’re going to be the best dad in the world.”

“How do you know that, Ames?” Jake whispers. “What if I hurt our kid?”

“You won’t, Jake. You won’t.”

For a second, Jake allows his mind to wander, allows himself to wonder about what would’ve happened today if Amy really had been pregnant, but if he hadn’t used the taser. He thinks about how he might feel if they were to have a baby, about how he might react to Amy being pregnant and about what kind of father he might be. He thinks about all the fun times he and his kid would have, like days at the waterpark or movie nights watching all of the ‘Die Hard’ series. He imagines a little girl who looks almost exactly like Amy, or a little boy who likes to play pranks just as much as he does.

Is he ready? No, not yet. But is he coming round to the idea? Quite clearly, yes.

“I never want to hurt you, Ames. I’m sorry. I promise never to do anything like that again.” Jake says, using a hand to tuck Amy’s hair behind her ears.

“I promise too, Jake,” Amy whispers with a nod. “I don’t want you to worry about your parenting abilities. When it happens, I’ll be there. We’ll do it together, just like we do everything else.”

“We make a great team,” Jake says with a nod, and leans in to kiss Amy softly. “And for the record, I’m starting to think having a kid would be pretty fun.

Amy nods, a smile spreading across her face. “I think so too.”

“Stressful. Like, _super_ stressful. And scary. But fun.” Jake replies, and Amy giggles. “But really, I did feel kind of... happy when you told me you were pregnant earlier.”

Amy merely smiles and kisses Jake on the cheek. Then she gets up and heads back inside, reminding him, “The takeout is here.”

He knows Amy doesn’t want to make him feel pressured. He promised her that when he was ready he would tell her explicitly, and she promised that she wouldn’t bother him about it until he was ready. She is respectful of his boundaries and feelings, and when he is sad or insecure she always knows how to reassure him. She really is his dream girl.

-

That night, Jake tucks Amy into bed and puts socks on her to keep her feet warm while she sleeps (not at all because he wants the credit for doing it and for not taking credit again). He kisses her head and strokes her hair, gazing down at her and imagining what might change about her during pregnancy.

He makes a mental note to throw the taser pen away tomorrow.

It might take him a while, but one day he will be ready for kids. Until then, he’s going to prepare to be the best father he can possibly be.


End file.
